﻿Order Your Wase Raise In Advance 
By T-BONE SLIM 
 
“Journal Oratory Winner Leaves for College.” 
Was there no other way to gag him (her)? Usually the loser goes in for learning. 

“China’s famous Soong sisters were educated at Macon, Ga.”—I was educated at the same place. The other cells were for colored people. 

Ahaserus was Xerxes. Haman was his “man of all work.” There were at least a quarter of a million Jews in the Persian Empire at that time. Even- one of these Haman planned to kill . . . And Ahasuerus thought so little of human life that he considered this proposal of Haman’s of insufficient importance even to investigate it. A king who thought himself superior to the natural world would certainly not worry much about a few hundred thousand lives. (The great conceit!) 
There’s my point. Be the man Napoleon, Kaiser Bill, Pete the Great or Kubla Kohen . . . And let me say: There are other empires, other Hamans and other Xerxes where friend cuts friend’s throat and considers the time well spent—for does not “superiority of race” sanctify the dirty work? 
No Esther! No Vashti! No nothing. 
Choose me for slinktator, I don’t think I’m so hot, but I’d be just the man to conserve, defend, be friend human values. 
All right, roughnecks, hit the deck! 
Warring nations are counting their dead as nonchalantly as I used to count my herring. 
We count our dead before the battles; already before the shooting we’ve got one million dead and buried, and another million on crutches. The blow seems easier to take that way. 
I’ve often wondered whether the taking of so many prisoners of war and the utter destruction of armies is not for the purpose of clearing land for new settlers, the pioneer spirit. 
It will be remembered that Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania and Poland suffered a substantial population turnover and displacement when peace arrived—many, many were dispossessed. 

Crackpot politicians piling us into war, did you say? 
England is grabbing territories that she expects to trade in for peace. How civilized! 
And it may be in view of the vast holdings of Britain in this country, that lend-lease is a genteel hedging to protect the empire, just in case . . . debts can be repudiated, can’t they? But a pound sterling on a four-card flush is a goner. Big hearted, ain’t we? 
This ring-around-Rosie could be called swivelization. 

Whenever the cost of living catches up with you, order an increase in wages. Don’t be caught in the middle.