﻿One Man Show Would Please Our Parasites 
By T-BONE SLIM 
 
Quite conceivably the presidency of the United States is too big for a one-man job. Simple pastime like baseball has three umpires. 
Quite conceivably also, Congress cannot get along without leadership (to lean upon) unless they bring along their efficiency experts and general managers, renegades from the working class. 
As before said, the presidency is too big a job for a lone rancher and when that rancher undertakes to high-pressure his policies upon a semi-conscious Congress he is only adding stones to his own sleigh. 
Only the other day an umpire who tried to play the game as well as keep score was almost annihilated by a pitched ball––and there’s no use of you saying that he had the blind staggers, for I thought of it first and the pitch proved the point. 
Aviation Note 
If you take a boss up in the air with you, don’t crash for his sake––forget him. He is small marbles indeed, and his father before him never did any useful work either. 
How in the name of common sense can they understand work if they never did any of it? How true it is: it is difficult to work from the top down. It simply isn’t done and their conception of work is sketchy. That’s why they have to hire a MAN. 
Ten-Day Notice 
Human Rights Invaded––Human rights are those of labor.  
In Minnesota they have a law. (Hear! Hear! they’re getting civilized!) The law says labor must give ten days notice of a strike––labor must see that far into the future. 
Bad news, labor? They must be prophets in addition to their other brilliant accomplishments. 
The “invasion” is not quite apparent unless the law be put to a test.  
In order for labor to abide by this law and retain its right of strike whenever the spirit moves, it must put in a notice of strike each day––365 days a year––that way he can run no “unnoticed” strike. A standing notice will not do because it leaves too many legal technicalities.  
I wonder who will do the work while the boys are in conference taking their daily strike vote. 
The law doesn’t say labor must go through with a strike once ordered, if you have guessed wrong or changed your mind. But there might be legal repercussions and you might be tossed in the can for trying to intimidate the boss. (Good for 180 days free board.) 
All told, it is best to go through with a strike and put in notice of the next one––you can’t miss and the law has been observed, obeyed, and its merit proved. 
Since Lindbergh flew the Atlantic we have been unable to do anything with those Minnesotans and the violence of a recent WPA strike there most probably is a parcel of violence within this law.  
Paper Hanger Wanted 
Fashionables on Vacation at Saratoga Springs Resort. I’m kind o’ late imparting this world-shaking information but, then, it’s all right; you see they’re on year-around vacation and have only changed the scene of their pleasures. 
They want a paper hanger for president so as to make their time out perpetual––a sergeant from the national guard preferred. Only time they echew these social functions (rest) is when they have a champaign head and stay home to dish up vituperation to their distraught help. 
Another Road to Peace 
I see where in order to establish a “Christian Front” many of the big shots are going in for moral Amourment. The theory is good––you can’t fondle and fight at the same time. 

Seems to me the Salvation Army is slower winning its freedom from Britain than the shoeless-Joes of Valley Forge. 
Price of Milk 
When Borden and Sheffield voluntarily jacked up the price of milk one-half cent a quart, all was honky-dory and nothing was said, but when up-state farmers went on “pay-me” strike instantaneously conferences were held at the Summer City Hall. 
Milk Strike Won––but the cows must still give nine kinds of milk. Yes, five cents and a fraction the farmers get for a quart (same as 42 years ago), $2.50 a hundred-weight and that’s 47 quarts––you figure it out yourself. 
Before the strike, they got three cents and a fraction––we pay 20 cents, minus. 

Connecticut is doing well tossing many of her political thieves in the can. Remaining politicians are getting religion.