﻿Sons Rush Where Parents Fail to Head-To the IWW 
By T-BONE SLIM 
 
“Choosing A Doctor”— From “Atlantica” 
Jimmy Roosevelt is a bright boy who has gone far despite, as he says, the handicap of being a President’s son. But, like the rest of us, he has his weaknesses. His are peptic ulcers. Recently, he had to choose a doctor. It would be interesting to know his thoughts in his hour of sickness. 
Did he feel, like his father, that his ulcers were a “public problem,” rather than a medical one? Was he swayed by his mother’s enthusiastic endorsement of Washington’s Federal health clinic? Did he rush to a nearby Government hospital? 
No. 
In spite of the inconsistency, the inconvenience and the expense, he hotfooted halfway across the continent to the Mayo Clinic, where he could secure the best of private care. We wonder if there isn’t a moral in this for Father, Mother, and the rest who would deny millions a privilege they reserve for themselves.—From Medical Economies. 
Sure there’s a moral, lots of morals : 
Sons are bright; parents not quite so polished? And seeing as how far he went to get decent care he must have left a raft of phony doctors and clinics behind him? 
The moral here is, if the argument holds, take down those shingles “halfway across the continent.” Are you game? (Note: I myself think nothing surpasses Mayo Clinic care. 
In choosing a labor union you go about it in much like manner. You leave all those phoney labor fakeries behind you and you go and go until you find a real union. 
It all sums up sharp and snappy: 
If you have ulcers, go to Mayo Clinic. 
If you are just plain gaunt, go to IWW. 
If you are dumb, go to Work Peoples College— even if you have to cross the whole continent. 

Bright boys do not have to be told to do these things for they already know, have already done so or are preparing to do so. That’s how I came to know so. 
Shamus Roosevelt’s visit to Mayo dispels all my doubts as to his brightness. 
Mayo’s is a progressive institution. 
So is the IWW. 
So is Work Peoples College. 
 
Note: If Mayo’s is full up, see a Finn doctor—they never learned to rob a guy; just cure him. Since big business took control of medicine we hardly know what to do. 
The same holds true to education and labor unionism. 
Conservative puts little coffee in a big pot. 
Liberal puts lots of (cheap) coffee in a big pot. 
Radical puts lots of (best) coffee in the pot, be the pot big or small. 
Conservative eats milk and toast. 
Liberal eats string beans and rice pudding. 
Radical eats red horse and red salmon. 
You’ve seen them—the conservative cuts the potato pealings so thin no pig’s ever going to get fat on ‘em. 

“Jobless Man, 4 Times Wed, Held with 2.”— 
Hear! Hear! It now takes four wives to support one man, in a fashion; where it took only one wife years ago to satisfy his wants. 
No wonder the doting government passed the Wage-Hours Bill—to give the wives more time to spend with their husband (?) This situation is going to curdle the milk of social intercourse and blood may be spilt, for there is bound to be shortage of women and occasions may rise when mere man will be married into too many families—a hashed detail. Irrational and erratic antics, irritations, of the parasite’s system is cause of this condition and I do not believe the Wages-Hours Law will pare many wives from the man’s list. Law takes the position by inference that “live off the income of one wife or starve”—law is kind o’ stiff necked about it, too. 
So, girls, I must turn to you in this hour of our great need. Can’t you get the kind and gentle foreman who represents the absentee parasites in your industry and say to him: “Look here, clown, my husband can’t live on the wages you are paying me.” — 
That’ll fetch him— if not, join the IWW and we’ll give the boss a run for his money. 

Not so long ago the democracies of Europe were defending the autocracies of Ethiopia. Consistent, hey? In more explicit words: they horned-in on the quarrel between two absolute monarchs, Mussolini and Hiluey-lassie—and— drop a tear—they were taken for a ride by Mister Hitler. 
Want to hear the other blunders? ‘Twould fill a column. 
This compares well with the noble support given the capitalist system by labor leaders in USA—or I wouldn’t mention it. 
When will blunders cease?