﻿Senators May Fatten: How About People? 
By T-BONE SLIM 
 
Washington could be arrested for sending in false alarms. U. S. Senate lost weight—two tons. People ain’t getting any heavier either (Harlem grammar). 
We work for government, government works for business, and business speaks only with God — God ain’t saying anything. 

Marline Dietrich was badly crippled while embarking for France on the Normandie. She had to sail without her jewels. U. S. tax collectors had suddenly shaken the sleep from their eyes and took the jewels in tow as a guarantee that the soothful Marlene shall once more return to the land o free and the home of the brave. 
There was poor Marlene like a sourdough prospector in the heart of the Mojave without a horse. But Mrlene retained her glamour and at one time (quoting a dockwalloper) “she war more glare-morous tha the bill-of-rights provides.” I hope the ship doesn’t sink. 
El Capitan was mad enough to ram Weehawken over the loss of the tide. 

New York has no money of its owen and visiting hordes are keeping the matinees going. World Fair is in conference and may declare for cut rates. 

Ever since college graduates took over the sailing of barges and deckscows in New York harbor, the former captains are improving their minds in public libraries and equally public gin-mills. This is no more than fair although it is said boating life is “a complete education” in itself. It may be in truth, that the college graduate (too good to organize) is improving his mind (if any) on the “wrecks of another day.” 
They must have it in for the National Guard. They’re gonna give ‘em airplanes. 
Attention, pleaav, why not put wings on those submarines? If they won’t float, they might fly. Sure we’ve got the mechanics. Look at ‘em on the park benches—and the wonderful cigarettes they roll. 

Sabotage in hinted strongly in the poisoning of 250 Staten Island school children by school lunch, 
Yesterday it was rice and Spanish tomato sauce, but today it was egg salad. Hm. And mayonnaise! 
But can you imagine them feeding future presidents and secretaries of labor on rice! That lost the war for China. 
Investigations (one-half dozen of them) is on tap. 
Hell with that garbage, feed the tots herring and hot dogs, and sourkraut. 

Whenever governments substitute themselves for private employers and employ those that industry has culled for whatever reason, they, the governments, change their nature and function in dual capacity—that of employer and government. Whenever WPAs strike under such circumstances, they strike not against government, but against employers. It cannot be said that they are outlaws. 
Put the shirt back on again and let the legislators catch up. 

Put plenty of salt on farina (middlings), close your eyes and you can imagine you are eating caviar—if you have farina, if you have salt. 

Goodly Jimmy Jemail (News) asks: “What characteristics of your parents did you inherit?” 
Poverty and uniform of slavery ‘s ‘bout all.