﻿Such Language! 
 
Judge: (severely) 
“What was you doing in that man’s pocket?” 
Prisoner: (meekly) 
“Balancing my budget, your honor.” 
Judge: (sternly) 
“You know you wasn’t. You were unbalancing his budget.” 
Prisoner: (tartly) 
“That’s his lookout. I am not his budget keeper.” 
Judge: (in unholy glee) 
“I will fine you fifty dollars and costs.” 
Prisoner: (staggered) 
“That’s pretty stiff —that’s more’n I got from him.” 
Judge: (smiling like a May morning) 
“That’s your lookout. We’ve got to balance our budget.” 
Prisoner: 
“I protest your honor. You are unbalancing my budget.” 
Judge: (tartly) 
“That’s your lookout—I am not your budget keeper.” 

The mere fact that a grocer doesn’t know there are twelve eggs in a dozen doesn’t prove the grocer is ignorant. On the other hand if he puts eleven eggs in a bag, that is proof conclusive his intelligence is of high standard, measured by present day ethics—ethics, you know are morality, immorality or a combination of both, (Doctors, I believe, have the most elastic ethics . . .) 
A stranger comes driving along the mountain road, stops his horse by a youth loafing at the mouth of a path that leads into a ravine: 
“Hello son, what are they doing in there?” 
Youth : 
“Making apple brandy or something.” 
Stranger: 
“Well, hold my horse awhile—I’m going in there to see.” 
(He jumps down, starts up the path.) 
Youth: 
“Jes’ a minute stranger, what shall I do with the horse in case you all don’t come back?” 
Now that boy can’t read or write but his mind is active in the higher planes of intelligence, and I lifted this story to bolster my point. (I hope it isn’t copyrighted but if it is I’ll sue ‘em for copy-righting my material.) 
A split of munificent proportions startled the Socialist Party from its sonorous slumbers—Heywood Broun went one way arid trie other half went back to bed. Heywood went democratic (bravo) and spoke twice to the emotional comrades of the Communist faith (Heywood is that way; he’ll talk wherever a talk is needed, appreciated or no.) 
Democratic? Yes, but democracy all around—including the justly famous and fundamental industrial democracy; without which political democracy is just another vestal virgin in a house of ill-fame. 
Heywood’s pet grief is, according to Times, the Socialist Party in Germany took fascism on the scnoozle laying down. Gerber s remarks on the matter were smug. 
S. P. loses a thoughtful writer— plus. 
Organizations will do that.—O how they hate themselves! 
Now in re Jew-baiting let me say the error is based wholly on race prejudice, nothing more substantial. It may be the Jews do not permit themselves to be skinned 8 to 2 as does the white-livered and proud nordic and cowcasian but, just the same, they do give full vane for their presence upon earth—they are an asset. 
Now, if Hitlerism is the sum total of Jewish culture in Germany, then that culture needs revision (an inspired front page (U.S.) editorial makes the point “culture”—Jews do not claim it. 
Dictatorship is just another one of those noble experiments, noble adventures, better than hypocritical political freedom under industrial autocracy. Germany, thoroughgoing, is the proper place to make this test, the answer of which already is written on the wall. 
Bye’m’bye, barter, conference, compromise shall step in and by gones shall be bygones. Heh! Heh! Heh!—another 40 years shot to hell. 
Why do I say 40 years? 
Because I mean 40 years. 
Organize! 
Internationalism is no stronger than its weakest nationalism 
Organize! 
Dictatorship is of nature autocracy. When you desert democracy in favor of it you are going to the hell you came from. 
We are not going to hell; that is where we came from!