﻿Every fellow workers know that I’m just a big-hearted sap and that my heart is soft as mush. But they do not know that I have violent crying spells when my big heart fairly folds up in grief. 
I had such a crying spell in Freeport, Ill., just the other day and I’m telling my old time fellow workers all about it in Dixon, Ill. 
“What did you cry for this time, Slim?” sez he politely. I looked at him hard, “Can it be”, sez I, “you haven’t read the bible where it says man cannot live by bread alone?” 
“Ah”, sez he, “I see; you were crying for boloney.”––”You don’t see nothing of the kind, I was crying for coffee. (Note reader, this is a custom in U. S.––you need shoes, you go to a shoeler and cry (not a horse-shoeler)––you need snus, you squirt tears; you need sox, you weep etc.––this all comes under the head of weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth, if you know what I mean. The democrats and republicans are all doing it and I met a socialist in Freeport, a damn fine lad, who looked as if he had sold his marshmallows and didn’t get any money––it’s terrible! I feel I’m going to cry––editor, fetch me a bucket.) 
I was crying for coffee and finally I ran into a place that looked made to order––I unwound my sad tale (a good one) I won’t tell it here because I may want to use it again). 
Instantly the young man said in self-defense, “we have no coffee.”–– 
“Young man”, sez I, “thing hard, think as you never thought before––can’t you see I’m dying for the want of a drink of coffee––would you see me perish right here in front of your eyes––I’m three-quarter dead right now.” (the young man trembled all over and his curly hair stood on end like hair on a porcupine.) 
I felt sorry for him. 
Up speaks a girl from the confection side,” I believe there’s old coffee in the urn––give him that”.––”Just the thing”, sez I, “and you needn’t put milk or sugar into it”––I added, hopefully.  
The young man shakes out a quart milk bottle and tilts the urn. 
I was just rubbing my belly and trying to look gratified––when the bottle’s bottom fell out. There was my coffee on the floor. An omen, what? 
You can’t put hot hope into cold industry! 
Souso’s March: 
Now the goodly lion tamers are as tame as lions they tamed; tarattataa, tarata taa, taa, taa (repreat). 
Oh, you Scissorbill! 
“I’d like to see every worker get the same wages as in 1921.” 
This cannot be bacause the employers of labor have not got it. They have put the money into over-expansion. Besides, you only “wish”––why didn’t you wish before the boss had sunk the “difference”. Why didn’t you “keep” the same wages as you had in 1921? Isn’t it kind a late in the day to wish for it now when it is past wishing for? Join a real union!  
Now the employers of labor (as railroads) wish the people would take the properties off their hands: The railroads are one-part value and three-parts over expansion (not counting trucks). That three-parts over-expansion represents the blunders of the rail-executives. So now the railroads “wish” the people would buy their properties. That’s all right but they (railroads) “also wish” that the people buy (also) their “blunders”, the overexpansion and leave them unhurt). 
Isn’t it kind a late in the day to wish for it now when the peoples buying––power is sunk in the “blunders”. Now, no kidding, isn’t it? (The same holds true in all things). 
What does this all mean? It means that the employer of labor no longer qualifies to act as autocrat. Never did! Never will! And needs not only to be relieved of his responsibilities but also a gu[unclear].  

Primary function of political state is to throw hay and sand in front of the sleigh to keep industry from going too fast, and snow and green-wood to keep it from stalling. These it must do before the sleigh has passed. It is not the function of state to institute logging operations. 
In addition it is the office of state to remove all foreign matter from the ice-road and tell funny stories to the working-boss and four-horse skinners. Political state shall welcome all camp-inspectors and give them immediate and temporary relief, such as chew of snus or pipeful of Union Leader and Peerless.  
The time is not yet come when the road-monkeys shall take charge of the camp. 
The time is now come though when the crew must take charge of the camp––too many of our big-sleighs have gone into the ditch.