﻿DIVIDE AND CONQUER 
 
“Three-fourths rule is raw and shoddy”. 
But, before we throw a fit— 
Let us see if such a body 
Can by conquerors be split? 
 
No two men have equal chances, 
Distance, Time and Strength decide; 
No two nags alikewise-prances— 
Some are waited and some denied 
 
Ain’t that so, O tell me Frances, 
When conditions, are decried. 
Verdicts rest on circumstances, 
Want that shall not be defied. 
Therefore if the ballot tangles 
And the vote seems “half and half” 
Take the question, all its angles. 
Toss it in the stove—and laugh. 
Who are they, the cheerful losers? 
(I’m afraid they don’t exist) 
Who are they that flee the choosers, 
When their way “the thing” don’t twist” 
 
Surely, then, ‘tis but a barter — 
Bitter—though the cup we quaff; 
Better far to lose a quarter 
Than to lose almost a half. 
Nay, you will not lose a quarter. 
You shall still remain as one; 
For within the splitters charter 
Is a law—”take half or none”. 

Sail are no good without wind, Engines 
are dead without power. 
Good and Bad perpetuate themselves. 
Do away with Good, bad remains; 
Do away with Bad, good remains. 
To make the world all good—destroy the bad; 
Good takes care of itself. 
To make the world all bad—destroy the good; 
Bad takes care of itself. 
You have only to choose between them. 
You don’t have to build either one. 
If you decide to build Bad—the world 
Will be worse off. 
If you decide to build Good—the world 
Will be better off. 
I think it the more important to do away 
with the Bad than to create the 
Good subject to contaminating influences. 
World, as is, minus bad, is a fairly decent place to live in. 
Try this on your piano: 
I said, “what do you THINK of that?” 
(I said no such thing.) 
I said, “what do YOU think of that?” 
(No, no, no!) 
I said, “what do you think of THAT?” 
(Na, nix, no!) 
I said, “what DO you think of that?” 
(What did I really say?) 
I said, WHAT do you THINK of THAT? 
That’s what I said and those four witnesses are liars. 

Limiting the age of child labor may be unconstitutional and limiting the alcohol content of liquor may be constitutional—that I do not know. But I do know taxation is still constitutional and that congress in its infinite wisdom, and “bustedness”, did not see fit to tax employers of child-labor, say, one dollar per day for every child so employed—this would have brought in over a billion dollars a year—or solved the child-labor problem. 
Can it be they didn’t want to solve it? Truly, “womans work is never done”; as the factories bear witness—and great, big rawboned and rawjawed men stand outside watching the ladies sweat. 

On Her Way to Work. 
Yesterday, 7 A. M.. slip of a girl, redheaded, stops long enough to hand a some-what bleary-eyed ex-worker two-bits. I pre’ended not to see it—but somehow I could not help but wish it was me—me. 

All is not as pie and gristle. 
Something sure has gone berserk: 
When the surly factory whistle 
Calls the girls to go to work. 
(Note: in the manufacture of poetry the eraser is mightier than the pencil). 

Not So Good to Look at 
Nature gave us two eyes because one eye never could stand the strain; Two ears, so as to hear both sides; One nose to limit the stench—and it came damn near giving us no mouth at all. 

I am impressed that too many “working man’s friends” get into congress—both houses are full of ‘em. I haven’t voted for years, but the first “working man’s enemy” that runs gets my vote. 
Why, always, the “working man’s next friend”, why not the working man himself —does he do all his business through his friends? Tie-maker Borah, Idaho, boosts neither wing of the House of Mark Hanna. T—b—S.