﻿System, By—Product and Prince 

By T-BONE SLIM 

Capitalism has quaint ways of solving social and economic questions: 
Bigger and better policemen; stronger stink bombs; heavy-bore riot guns; judges who have learned their prerogatives; jails, prisons, pens, work-farms and nut houses; bombing planes; armies and navies; battleships and tanks; destroyers, mines, submarines and cruisers; war-scares, peace-talk, disarmament-confabs and heavier armor-plate—and when all those speak at once the question before the house shrinks into its shell and the meeting adjourns sine die. 

Business depressions: 
1857, lasting 12 months. 
1869, lasting 8 months. 
1873, lasting 30 months. 
1884, lasting 22 months. 
1887, lasting 10 months. 
1893, lasting 25 months. 
1903, lasting 25 months. 
1907, lasting 12 months. 
1914, lasting 8 months. 
1921, lasting 14 months. 
The present depression has now lasted over 20 months. 
We got over all those other depressions in good shape but we must remember the patient isn’t as young as it was and there’s such a thing as getting sick once too often. 

Eddie for Self-Service. 
The latest story about the prince of Wales is that while he was dining at a club in Paris with some friends, the waiters took advantage of his presence and struck for a 30 per cent, increase in wages. The frantic maitre de hotel informed his guests of this contretempts and called for volunteers to help serve the prince. 
A score of people immediately rose from the tables and offered their services. Among them, quite unobtrusive, was the prince himself.—Boston Transcript, quoted by Duluth News-Tribune, August 4, 1931. 
England ain’t got nothing on us. We have just as democratic strike-breakers right here in this country.—T-b. S.