﻿Preliminary Survey 
By T-Bone Slim 

Solomon’s temple, Jerusalem, Judea, had nothing on the Balaban-Katz playhouses, Chicago, Illinois for ornamental work. 

“395”— (pennies, I spose) for a great, big, brute of a car, one of those regular, bankrobbing, “blue sedans”—why it costs hardly nothing no more to live (this is a secret) it only costs that much because that is precisely the amount possessed by the good people—nothing, nothing. 

Apology magnifique in cause celebre: 
“Hello Jim, gee I’m sorry I stuck you up last night, it was so dark.” 
“That’s all right, Joe, right after that I stopped two gentlemen around the corner and more than broke even—let’s go some place and have a s’s’soda.—” 
(Something should be done about this, better lights or something—a man is “apt” to stop his father-in-law by mistake and have trouble in the family the rest of his life. 

To those who partake of no rest 
And keep tabs on such miracles, deepest: 
The cheapest is NEVER (he best— Ah! the best is always the cheapest. 
 
Dame Rumor is crying out loud, 
And is trying its damnedest to speak: 
The meekest are not a bit proud 
But the proud are pretty damn meek. 
 
Right’s wrong! and the short is “the long” 
And the oiliest hinges shall squeak: 
The weakest is NEVER the strong, 
But the strong are ever the weak. 

Now you tell one. 
The oiliest hinges, by the way, after viewing the current political selections squeak as follows: 
The fate’s on the barroom floor! 

Chicago’s organized charity has broken down. Among these may be included United Charities, Christian Industrial League and, to a lesser extent, Catholic institutions. 
War veterans’ organizations also ran on a flat tire and many are the denunciations of this and that colonel for real and fanciful wrongs; especially in the case of non-service officers. 
What little is put out by those organizations can not be termed charity and should not be dignified with and as coming from such high standing establishments. We will not go into the question what constitutes charity except to bring outgone lone theory: 
Charity is the unrelated wealth received from such persons or bodies as have come into possession of their exact share or less than share of the world’s goods and it follows then that any “amount” received from those who have received more than their exact share of wealth is no charity at all but “hit or miss” restitution—and veneer-coated hypocrisy. 
Many people do not understand charity as an institution, hence I will donate a few words in that direction. 
First of all, organized charity is the art of “passing the buck”—give out nothing except as last resort to save the name of “the business”, in case the applicant has “pull” or backing. 
You need a coat: “Come tomorrow mebbe I can find work for you.”