﻿BONEYARD

By T-BONE SLIM

“Voice of The People”

Manhattan: I am so lazy that I realise the fact myself. Is there a cure? Can your readers help me?
							—C. R.
We certainly can. Nothing lazy about us. We’ll give you a lift . . . First of all, the only cure for laziness is “absolute quiet”. Settle down! But you ain’t lazy. Else you wouldn’t have noticed it realized it . . . Don’t get excited. Keep cool. Wait till your laziness attracts the attention of the surrounding populace. Once you win their notice, plaudits or condemnation you can form an unbiased, personal opinion of your speed proclivities, or momentum, or occilational propensities. After that you’ll be two lazy to look for a cure and too comfortable to accept one if fetched to yon by others.
You don’t want a cure for that condition. Cultivate it, till you have something to cure.
Moral: Unripe boil pulls hard.
Advertisers are notorious liars—some od them verge on the excellent. Example: “Carefully Blended” may mean a bad load of coffee is thoroughly mixed with good or indifferent.
Nothing wasted.
The principle is: Not to give some people all bad, but all peopl some bad—thus blending business with deviltry.
Authority:
Human testimony is, at best, unreliable. Eye witnesses too often differ broadly on details.

When a tale-bearer goes into a tale-spin, for instance, rushes to the boss and bares his soul, becomes a soul-barer, he’s a bear for details; and tattle. Unfortunately, he must draw on his imagination to make his testimony stand. Three-quarters one-quarter with truth is thoroughly saturated with falsehood. Bring on your mathematicians! There’s your one-tenth of one per cent. The victim, offended, bows his head— alas, and passes off the incident to his fellow worker by murmuring, laconically:
“He Turned Me In.”
Now, my point is this: A tale-bearer as a regenerative proposition is not hopeless. He can be rebuilt.
Vast alterations can be made in his general make-up, structure, attitude and deportment.
As we all know, the man suffers from some sinister ailment, such as breathing raw air through hie mouth.
Correct this, if such be the flaw, and you will find he enjoys breathing through his nostrils same as rest of us.