﻿BONEYARD— 
(By T-BONE SLIM) 
 
Samuel Insull’s contributions [to] the latest lamented Illinois campaign found totals, up-to-date, to $196,235.19 (last week). 
Not a cent wasted—”favorite son” was elected. 
Election, too, was all that could be asked for. 

It has been found that insulin ointment is valuable in the treatment of old ulcers, even though the patient is not suffering from diabetes. 

“Hurley Goes Broke; 44 Saloonists “Find.” 
HURLEY, Wis. July 25—Forty-four saloonkeepers of this town have contributed “$275 and costs” each to the city of Hurley since July 1, it became known, (leaked out) thereby relieving the barren “condition” of the city’s treasury. 
When the city went broke recently, city officials notified the saloonkeepers to appera in court to answer charges of violating the prohibition law. Forty-four answered the appeal and the court /graciously) omposed the sentence in each case. No evidence was produced (no drinks were passed around) and no attorneys appeared for the prosecution or defense (although, no doubt, sober attorneys could have been found, if wanted). 
Transcribed from N. Y. City paper— 
Thus Hurley Rises Triumphant 
Upon Gogebies Iron-front 
Now that admittedly prohibition is unenforceable, it would be graceful deed for Volstead to go on a drunk. 

No! No ! No! the capitalist’s system never will fall of its own accord, but all the people may take a notion to trade it off for a sack of cracked eggs.—Even as the system and the eggs gradually and surely continue to spoil. 
The system never will last “long enough to fall”—the folks will have peddled it off for a second hand mouth organ od a tooth brush long before she even TOTTERS. But—to peddle a big pile of manure like that, requires organization. 
Therefor: I suggest that we all take out cards in the I. W. W. and aske the I. W. W. to know it down to the highest bidder. 

The main reason why T-b S. has refrained writing ral “sardonic” stuff is because he desires to give George Bernard Shaw every chance. (George is 70). 
Just wait. 
O Pshaw! 

England is GWINE to help us enforce the dry law! 
Why not? It is to her interest. 
In ocean travel, who’s going to ride on an American blind pig when he can book passage on a British saloon? 
Nobody—or a bunch of nobodies—nabobs, I mean. 
Sure, she’ll help. 
But we don’t need her help—we can enforce the dry law ourselves with the 4,500,000 odd employed. 
Put them on the force—and—payday we’ll all get drunk together. 
We’ll drink her dry! 
As it is now, we don’t need the law. Nothing to buy with. 

Man Most Efficient 
At 70, He Declares 
CHICAGO—”A man is most efficient at the age of 70,” says Dr. Herman N. Bundeson, health commissioner. 

“That is the age of highest mentallity, and it is a man’s duty to keep his body fit so that he will be an asset at that time of life.”— 
How Bundeson’s Bones Must Ache.—I know how it is—I’ve been there! 
Such great truths and so much of them can come only from men who have fought and suffered, and I agree with Bundeson to the extent that it is “policy” to conserve health while young so as to have a little something left when 70—otherwise: 
What are we going to do with our young congressmen and senators? 
Chloroform them until they are sveaty? 
Boy! Page Dr. Osler.