﻿WHOLEWHEAT PHILOSOPHY 
 
 Mother may be your truest friend, a sweetheart may be your most saccharine friend, but, your warmest friend is a stove––or a bath house. 
A dog probably is your most faithful friend, a pipe, too, is constant––but your closest friend is your underwear. . . . 

Our main objection to the other fellow is––”because he isn’t like us.” 
He’s not at all calm, like we are. He doesn’t think as great thoughts. . . . He’s so absent minded; mislays things; does everything wrongly––in fact, we object to him because he is everything that he thinks we are; and we––of course––are everything we think we ain’t. Know Thyself!  

Industrial Unionism is conceded to be the best kind of unionism. Why is it then that workers are slow in accepting it? The idea is good, the Preamble is masterpiece––then why don’t workers use them? 

THEORY AND PRACTICE–– 
New York City paper opines that Luther Burbank cannot be spoken of “as a great scientist.” Certainly not! He was a genius. 

IGNORANCE IS OUR WORST ENEMY 
It is––and the funny part of it is that it isn’t OUR ignorance. It’s the ignorance of the CAPITALIST CLASS! Look at the system they boost. Some day they’ll get caught with the goods right on ‘em––our watch in their pocket (numbers on it corresponding with the numbers in our note-book). What then? Nineteen years of hard labor––and the return of the jewelry. 

WE LEARN EVERY DAY–– 
What is a monologue? A monologue is a conversation between man and wife. 

In a restaurant a lumberjack reasons something like this: “Eggs are a good food. Waitah! Fetch me three orders of ham and eggs and one cup of that rotten coffee.” 
In the woods he reasons something like this: “Kind and Gentle Foreman––We re-SPOKEfully DEMAND! eggs for NEXT! Christmus.” Lumberjacks are just the greatest for poking fun! 

NEW YORK CITY.––Lower East Side in New York City begins on the West Side (on foreign territory, so as to say). Upper West Side had no place to begin on account of the river so it had to go over to the North side to make a start––the North Side now had no place in the sun to commence so it grabbed one of Mayor Hylan’s ferries and moved over to the Bush Terminal, Brooklyn. The present mayor is more of a Walker; Brooklyn’s now crowded, so was forced into the sea, Atlantic, at Coney Island. Population: 8,000,000 complacent humans. 
Many good reasons are advanced why New York City is the biggest city in this world. But it remained for me to tell folks the true cause for its shortage of smallness. Five cent street car fare! As a result of the small car fare the cross town cars run very cautiously (as is expected) and kill no pedestrians––with the result that their name stays in the directory. As a result of their slowness many people walk––in fact, only visitors ride the cars. The result is that all the walkers benefit from the exercises, remain well and strong. . . Their name remains in the directory also! 
All this is due to five cent car fare. 
You see, then, the higher fare kills off the population two ways: first, being hooked up to higher speed, it would run over the slow walkers. Second, higher speed would make it an object for the hurrying people to ride and skip their invigorating walks. 
Terrible! Murder! Just plain murder! Twin Degree Assination! 
The five cent fare is general in New York––except where four cents is extorted. A six cent fare, a rarity, is the exception that proves the nickel. Therefore, readers, in view of New York City’s tubes, subways, ferries, elevated “open air lines” and surface, (trollyless) cars, almost satisfactory, it may appear to you when your traction lords, in your low cost community holler for 6, 7, 8, and 10 cent that they figure on killing off some of the population. 
Don’t you believe it! They’re just dumb! 

In regards to why workers don’t use industrial unionism more extensively, let me point out: the I. W. W. is the only union that offers industrial unionism –– but the workers are slow in grabbing it up. Why? People move from economic interest––offer a man better wages than he is getting and he will follow you “to the end of the earth.” Offer him a better system than the capitalist system and he will “switch” that quick. But you must prove it to him! You can’t get him to accept something “just as good” because he has grown “attached” to the old one. The old will vanish only when a better one appears––people want the best! Now, if our organization has even the slightest resemblance to capitalist system slaves will look at it long and hard before they accept it––even for a substitute. 
Capitalist itself didn’t come into existence until it was proven conclusively that it was the best, and “politest” way “to work the slave for free lunch.” The best way to keep the workers poor and the parasites rich! 
Now, prove to the worker that Industrial Unionism will make the worker rich and the parasite poor and he will step up to examine your organization. Be sure, then capitalist features lurk in your wood pile––I mean it!