﻿T-BONE SLIM SAYS FIGURES LIE XII - -  - - XII 
 
I.  
‘Tis said we cannot (clearly) prove 
That two and two is four 
And that, no matter how we move, 
It may be less or more. 
II. 
Since no two things are quite alike,  
How can they sum up four? 
Indeed, the humble three, or five 
Might be the final score. 
III. 
Three onions, true, is more than none 
Right here is where we cry–– 
Another man with only one  
Was twice as strong as I! 
IV. 
One-half of twelve is seven, prex–– 
Let’s with the figures delve: 
The VII joined to its reflex 
Transforms itself to XII. 
V. 
Cut off the lower half of X (ten) 
It leaves you even V (Five) 
Cut II––it leaves you 2, dear, mon–– 
Thus seven we derive! 
I II III IV V VI––.–– 7 8 9 10 11 12. 
You will note the half of twelve is not six, the “half-way” is between 6 and 7––the last half of six and the first half of seven––hence, six and one half includes one half of seven and since 3½ is half of 7, 10 1-2 is exactly half of twelve––somebody is a liar. 
And figures are unreliable––anything can be proved, and disproved, as fast––It’s tough! “Wanted Harvest Hands––Red River Valley––Long Run––$3.50 and $4.00” 
What does that mean? 
That’s figures. 
It means that you will work for $3.50 and that the I. W. W. will raise your pay to $4.50. Somebody is a liar. 
I think it’s mathematics. 

“Each man kills the thing he loves.” (Not knowing when to write or quit.) Each man “eats” the thing he hates––But through no lack of ken or wit. The opening line above was written by one Oscar Fingal O’Flaherty Willis Wilde––what a barbarous name!––England’s smartest Irishman.  

“Man wants but little here below.” The little he gets is poor–– 
Birds thrive on quite a bit less, ye  
know–– 
But sometimes it’s manure. 

It is said “mind hangs by a hair.” Mine must have dropped. (The hairs, no longer anchored, fell out.) Won’t I look like hell going into the harvest bald-headed. Who shall I blame? Is there any provision in the compensation law for the loss of fuzz (fur)? 

Point of order: I see there are still a few careless members who are behind in their dues––that’s bad. I would suggest to those men that they make it a point to keep themselves paid up 90 days ahead. (Just in case of a pinch––of course.) 
“N W BUSINESS MAKES STRIKING GAINS IN JUNE”–– 
Ah, if LABOR had only thought to MAKE GAINS STRIKING in June. Ah!