﻿The Last Chord 
 
Five o’clock in the morning, 
That’s when they “toot” the horn; 
To give the loggers “fair warning” 
Mankind is born to morn 
 
It’s just a safety-first “measure,” 
Not a blow “mean and wrong”— 
The company fears “they would RUIN thei kidneys,” 
By sleeping long. 
 
CHORUS: 
“Ding Dang. Ding Dang—Dang it, my insoles are gone! 
Ding Dang, Ding Dang—waiting for breakfast—and d-a-w-n. 
Ding Dang. Ding Dang—Dang it, they’ve stolen my brawn! 
Ding Dang, m’lousy check will be for gingseng drawn. 
 
Note— An error in the first line, can you find it? 
Wha’at! You can’t? 
Come with me. I’ll show you: “Five o’clock” comes only in the afternoon (days) and after midnight (nights) —never in the morning; excepting when the clock is slow. Morning is the first half of day, not the last half of night. Watch that! 
It is important that labor become well founded on this phase of chronology—look, at your “Ingersol”—don’t watch the clock . . . (reason given in another article). 
All right, professor: 
Eight o’clock in the evening 
That’s when the lights grow dim— 
Just like the “masters young thieveling,” 
“Jacks,” are abed—tucked in. 
It’s not a saving of coal-oil, 
Nor e’en a deed of hate— 
The company fears “they will RUIN their eyesight”— 
By Reading Late. 
 
CHORUS: 
Ding Dang. Ding Dang—Dang it, the lights are gone! 
Ding Dang, Ding Dang— Nothing to do but yawn. 
Ding Dang, Dang Dang—Dang it, they’ve stolen by brawn! 
Ding Dang, m’lousy check will be for gingseng d’awn. 
Note—First line of second verse is proper Irish—it’s “Eight o’clock in the evening,” not eight o’clock in the afternoon (as the bosses would have us believe). Eight o’clock comes in the forenoon (days) and in the evening (nights) —never before supper—if supper has not been delayed, or estrayed—estranged. 
Labor should make it a point to study these philosophies: work a little days, enjoy evenings and sleep nights—don’t mixed ‘em up. Remember, night is a part of the “day-before,” hence, there is no sense in getting up yesterday to do today’s work—today will be early enough—getting up last night to tackle today’s breakfast is like borrowing from the past. Live in the present. Die in the future. 
Last Note—Note, since so many boiler-makers, molders, fishermen, firemen and bartenders undertook to cook and since they are not buglers from overseas, the horn doesn’t sound “ta tatata ta, the tatata traa”—it goes: “Ding Dang, Ding Dang—Dang it . . (Altogether!) “Ding” . . . ( Everybody!! ) Let’s sing!