﻿SENSE OF PROPORTION 
 
Fellow Workers: 
As much as I hate to go into the barn—so early -in the morning—I see it must be done if we’re gonna get those logs out—and, I act accordingly. . . But there is time (after I have dressed the horses) for scientific research— (we all can’t be organizers)—some of us got to do the dirty work. Some of us is got to, simply Got To, keep track of the “sense of proportion.” Therefore, I, T-Bone Slim shall, as I stand admiring the business-end of the company’s team, proceed to shun the lower branches of higher learning and take up mathematics—figurative acrobatics—forthwith: . . . (and fifth width:) 
How much horsepower does it take to organize the lumber workers? 
You think I’m stuck, don’t you? Well, I’m not. Don’t interrupt. 
A “horsepower” is the amount of energy that it takes to lift 33,000 pounds to the height of one foot in one minute of time (half a car, of logs, twelve inches in 60 seconds). That’s horsepower. 
How much do the lumber workers weigh? (We can’t tell how much horsepower it takes to organize them until we first find out how heavy they are). 
One lumberjack weighs 175 pounds—two weight 350 lbs.—fifty, (that’s an average camp) weigh 8,750 pounds; more than 4 short tons. There’s 4,000 camps. 4,000 times 8,750 . . . say editor, will you hand me the “lightning calculator” or burro’s—multiplier, (I ain’t exactly stuck but I’m getting into some steep figures) —I should have stuck to “tons” or rough estimates. Thanks 
Four thousand times eight thousand seven hundred and fifty . . . say, that looks like one of those -week-day titles of Czar Nicholas before abbreviation became a habit in Rooshia; put it this way: 4,000 (camps) times 8,750 pounds (of “manpower”) equals 35,000,000 pounds. Who’d have thunk—there’s that many million pounds of lumberjacks in America working every day, besides the millions of pounds of lumberjacks in town or on the way out! 
Who’d have thunk it! Gosh! Gee! 
Gee, Gosh! 
Fellow Workers, we, Slim, Absolutely and T-ToTally refuse to vouch for the truth of those figures—we vouched for some figures on a “time-check” once, and they had us in jail for a week—until the figures could be verified; and remember, this is mathematics-higher learning—truth belongs to a branch of lower learning. . . 
Are you satisfied? 
Seven hundred and fifty words already, and nothing said yet! Oh, well . . . higher learning! That’s the way it is. (shrug). 
Where was we at—oh yes: 
A delegate weighs 170 pounds, five pounds less than a lumberjack—that’s because he loses sleep. . . . It takes six (6) delegates to equal one (1) horsepower, 33,000 pounds.—33,000 (lbs.) divided by 6 (delegates) equals 5,555. Thus you see, the horsepower of a delegate is 5,555 lbs. lifted one cubic foot in one cubic minute—of time, of course—we ain’t gyppoing. (Remember: I’m talking about delegates. The horsepower may seem high, to you—I can’t help that). Now, there’s 35,000,000 lbs. of lumberjacks (working) they’re 70 inches high. A h. p. will lift 33,000 lbs. one inch in one minute—to uplift them to their full height we would be required to lift . . . 70 times 35,000,000 lbs., that’s right in the neighborhood of two billion four hundred and fifty million (2,450,000,000) lbs. But we’re not lifting ‘em, we’re organizing. I mention this merely to show how easy it is to go wrong in the realm of higher learning why, a man might get the idea “it can’t be done.” 
That would be discouraging, indeed! ‘Twould.—Then again, a lumberjack lives (with good luck) seven or eight years; a year has many minutes, 525,600, to be exact—if You was lifting “lumber” you would have to lift him (them) all those minutes (like catching pike, you couldn’t leave any slack in the line) let’s see: 525,600 times 2,450.000,000 h. p. equals . . . (deleted by the editor, at the request of the mathematician, at unfit for publication) and then you multiply that by eight years. That will give you the total horsepower required to lift the lumberjacks. 
But, as I said before, we’re organizing—not lifting. All right, we’ll go back to the “iced-road”—we’re on the “kick-back” . . . and, knock down a few of those humps on the way: 
When anything is to be done it is important that plenty of help abounds. For instance: It takes six men to lift a ton. Now, if four men are sent to pick it up, how far will they throw it? That’s one hump. That’s enough. They’re not going to throw it very far. 
We know a delegate is capable of lining up 500 men, we know that—nothing mysterious about that. It’s on the books, in black and white, and acid will not erase it. 
We know the weight »f the lumberworkers—thanks to mathematics—35,000,000 lbs., working. We know the horsepower of a delegate—5,555 lbs. 
We know, or should know, that it requires 400 delegates to do this work—all organized, working in unison—we, know this. Therefore: 
To find how much horsepower it takes to organize the lumber workers, multiply the h. p. of a delegate, 5,555 lbs. by 400, which gives you the total . . . 2,222,000 lbs. 
Add horsepower to this and send a few delegates after the jacks camp inspecting or in town . . . I believe we can generate at least 4,000,000 lbs. of horsepower. ‘S worth trying. 
Let the delegates get together—may their tribe increase.