﻿T-BONE SLIM DISCUSSES RUNNING FIRE 
 
“First, drop a Nickel in the Slot.” 
That is very important—Safety First. 

A drink of water wilt cost you one cent. Please do not ask for credit. 

“When a mule is kicking he isn’t pulling.”— 
A serious oversight on the part of the mule— he should keep the wheels going around under all circumstances! 

Majority rule explodes: 
82,000,000 out of every 100,000,000 persons die without a penny—most of ‘em members of the working class, too.—Same result can be had without work. Nevertheless, labor hath its advantages no less than loafing. But who rules? , 

Labor is but emphasized, not sissyfled; exercize—and dying “broke” you start “next life” as a bum. —Just think of it—82,000,000 bums among 18,000,000 “live ones.” That’s capitalism. 4½ bums to each “live” one! 

The number of Gospel Missions in given neighborhood does not indicate the amount of iniquity . . . nor does it indicate the amount of Christianity present. 
It merely indicates the number of missions that neighborhood is capable of supporting. I’m led to that opinion because the missionaries will not reveal their true status: 
Are they eliminators of sin? 
Are they maintenance for religion? 
Arp they generators of a d ditional sanctity?  
Which? 
Do they purify the bad, patch the indifferent, or improve the good? 
They refuse to answer because their biscuits hang in the balance.—Hypocrites. 

Optical illusion: “It’s your eyes that do the driving not your hands.” 
Yes, yes, I’ve noticed that in blind men, and in driving railroad spikes—and in driving a bargain. It’s your eyes, yes; not your tongue that drives the bargain. Yes, yes . . . goo-goo eyes. 
And in shooting from the hip it’s alleyes and not the mental-diagrams that direct the bullet. 

“Anyone dissatisfied in America should reflect on the- 1,000,000 unemployed in Great Britain” and England. — 
Yes, it may relieve their liver! But I’m here to say that when I am unemployed in America, I’m as badly off, single-handed, as the million over there. 

Million men do not starve any quicker than one—and we have 4,000,000 unemployed in the U. S. A. 

The Pennsylvania railroad yesterday asked permission of the Interstate Commerce Commission to issue $17,000,000 of 4½ percent equipment trust certificates.” 
What! Hasn’t the Pennsylvania got a commerce commission of its own? 

The death rate statistic in the insurance companies’ “photos of actual accidents.” now exceed the death rate of the country a’ a whole—and include many persons that are able to hold their own on the payrolls of our industries. Life is uncertain— to hour them tell it. And here I’ve been in the country all these years, and not killed once. 

Busting the sabbath is getting to quite a pastime with streetcleaners. It is said that owing to heavy traffic the white wings cannot make satisfactory progress weekdays—etc. —Whereas, on Sunday their work is to the point and speedy— nothing interfering. 
The cause for this condition lies in the concentration of business in a small district— hence the “concentration is the original sin that busted the Sabbath. It all comes out! 
And then again, the fast work on Sundays makes it possible to do the work with less men —sin or no sin —it cuts many men out of work. 
A very un-Christian and un-American deed! (I’m crying). 
—T-Bone Slim.