﻿T-BONE SLIM DISCUSSES VALUATION 
 
After the railroads have been laid in the most barbarous manner, in the most out-of-the-way places; after they cross, recross and criss-cross (each other and themselves) in; a most aimless manner and, finally, after the people’s money has-been sunk in sink-holes or thrown away in swamps and bad-lands then the rail-roads bob up smiling and ask us to give them a “valuation” that would conform with the cost of building this senseless net work today— Nay, Pauline, we will not place any such value upon them. 
We will not admit they are worth half the original cost even—even with present costs their usefulness can be duplicated for less than the original figure if precaution is taken to prevent an army of ergophobiacs (parasites) from amassing private fortunes for themselves. 

THE STATUS QUO-ERS 
Among the many men that we get To Go With Us will be many that will be Of Us. It will distinctly pay us to purr into the ears of those that will go with us, in order to arrive at those (of them) that will be of us. 
CRULLERS 

No more the weary pilgrim need 
To slaughter grain and pigs; 
No more the gentle strangers feed 
Consists of bark and twigs; 
His sustenance he now may eke, 
Encased within a w-hole: 
The pork smeared dough and e’en the squeak— 
A fry cake with a soul. 
1924_53_IS_25061924  
T-BONE SLIM DISCUSSES TRACKS OF THE TRADE 
 
Speaking about technique, and assuming that 16 bankers are working on a “tongs-gang” relaying steel. I wish to say that it would keep six lawyers busy tellin’ ‘em how to do it and not cripple themselves. I do admit that lawyers have a degree of ability. Coming as it does from me, I hope the legallists will be able to hang onto their ‘frayed’ modesty. 
On the other hand, technique of a locomotive engineer is high indeed. It takes years and years of coal shoveling before they are trusted with a locomotive. It fairly appalls me (to think) what they must know. Colored hostlers must work six weeks around a roundhouse, before they are even allowed to run an engine into the shed. I know firemen that have shoveled coal ten years without learning all the “in and outs” about an engine, to say nothing about finding the 57 oil holes. 
I don’t know why “technique” is so called, why “skill” is so called—I’ve always called it work— but I do know that man can learn to swing a spike maul with his teeth and drive a spike, if some one will hold the spike . . . otherwise he must do it with his hands. Last night I saw a dog climb a seven-foot post and take down a hoop. Would you call that technique, trick, or work? Any dog can do the same, the stunt is accomplished by taking a running start and continuing up the post the same way.