﻿Is It an Evil 
By T-BONESLIM 
 
Many fantastic explanations have been offered as to the cause for the divorce evil. Therefore, this morning when I awakened and found myself on a single cot, I got to thinking on this subjec that has puzzled purrfessors of international fame. Firstly and foremostly, I recalled the 65 cents I’ve got under this pillow; that won’t keep a wife! If I can’t afford a wife how can a man of lesser attainments support one? It follows without argument that labor cannot support a wife (on present wages). 

Labor is numerous. When labor declines to marry, it necessarily throws a panic into the matrimonial market and creates a keen competition for the handstand hearts of those men who are able to support a wife—and sometimes, for the hand that already is supporting a wife. Hence, divorce. 

On the other hand, men, unable to support a wife, seek the society of women already supported —competition here also is keen—and consequently, divorce courts and lawyers eke out the necessary wherewithal with which to maintain their personal household intact for the time being. 

It is only in the interests of truth that I have made these three points—and as ad mess it is indeed. It would seem that a divorce on the avenoo is caused by low wages at the mill. I cannot go into details (of this horrible mess), but will content myself by saying that: Of 36,000,000 industrial workers 20,000,000 receive less than “marrying wages.” Hence, 20,000,000 men must marry for a period of time, the duration of which depends on the ability of the loving pair to rustle garbage for themselves—then, divorce— sometimes without the formality of law (whenever both parties get a wage cut). 

A boss once told me “women should step out and help to support the family,” and illustrated his meaning by citing a team hauling a load. “The mare works as well as the horse,” he said. 

This was in a factory; so I inquired if he meant that women should be harnessed to a machine the same as I. To make a long story short a woman came and relieved me of my job next morning, I have been blushing ever since. Will this woman be able to support a husband regularly— three times a day? 

“Every girl when she gets to be about 15 or 16 years old ought to be put in a cage and shut up until she is 25,” declared Supreme Court Justice Ford from the bench in the midst of a series of annulment suits which he heard today. 

In the annulment cases, either the boy or girl must be under age, when the marriage knot was tied. Justice Ford had listened to a half dozen young women tell how they had consented to marry when they were around 16 years old. It was a continuation of such testimony that brought the jurist’s remarks concerning caging youngsters until they reached a more sensible age. 

The noted jurist seems to infer that these children should be taken from the mills and shops. But he fails to say whether the girls are to take their work into the cage with them. 

No, Judge, your honor, a cage will accomplish nothing of lasting benefit. An over abundance of freedom is not the cause of divorce evil —although I grant you 10 or 11 years spent in a cage would undermine the physical and moral stamina of any spirited girl to such a degree that she would agree to “stay put” regardless of whether the man is able to support her or not, etc. 

I have a better remedy: Pay her father wages enough, so that she may stay home and help mother about the house —and scrap your cage!