﻿War 
 
“War is Hell—”  
Were hell so vile? 
I wouldn’t dare to crack a smile; but as it is a cozy berth— (compared to war) a place of mirth—I deem it wise to hold my style.—If war is hell then truth is guile. 

If war is nothing more than hell, then everything is strictly well : no idle chance can do us harm—except, of course, we may get warm. For is it not a proven rule that northern part of hell is cool? 

But if “all hell” is like a war, then me for “on the golden shore”—A bayonet, you know my clear, between the ribs, feels kind of queer—It somehow doesn’t seem to fit; and very few get used to it. 

It’s not the- “sticking part” that hurts; (altough it ruins a pile of shirts). Nor yet the ugly turn of wrist that gives your frame a sudden twist—The time for mourning, I’m afraid, is when he shakes you off the blade. 

“Women are to carry arms—rifles and bayonets.” “Women are to be introduced in the uses of these instruments of democracy —civilization, war.”—Women will pull the trigger that rules the world; the hand that rocks the cradle (etc.) will guide the bayonet into the breast of an opponent of democracy, plutocracy, monarchy or whatever the call may be____ ? 
That is the supposition, and that is our subject. 

Certain propaganda is running in current stage productions, not only in motion pictures but also in “legitimate” drama as well— and—hush, in legitimate leg-shows, my dear editor, let me blush. . . . I admit the charge: I feasted my eyes upon a burlesque show. 

In this connection let me say that there has been a pessimistic note, going the rounds, to the effect that under capitalism man has no leisure to care for his unsatiated soul. (Get that, “soul”). You all know what that means—How many of us have had our sensibilities insulted with the odor of a pair of stinking feet intruding itself upon our inner consciousness? Weil, the consciousness is the soul of man even as the odor is the soul of the feet. 

Dark hints have been passed that capitalism has raided our pocket books making it impossiblc for us to witness leg shows or other dramatic productions whenever we find our soul drooping for the want of esthetic exhiliaration—uplift, etc. 

Personally I think these rumors should be challenged, and I do claim it is possible (for an ordinary man) to save his money in sufficient quantities to permit the witnessing a show at least two times in two years—as in my own case: I simply made up my mind and SAVED and saved . . . at first it seemed difficult, but in the end it was ridiculously easy and the show was rotten and the admission 15 cents. 

Upon the stage lined up were a dozen members of the gentler sex bristling with rifles. A fair haired soubrette makes a speech: “Ladies and Gents: — Now that women’s rights are gaining ground; now that women have the ballot and are equal to men” (how much superior they were before, I don’t know). “It is only a short time when they will be called to the colors to defend the glorious traditions of our glorious country, etc, etc. Will some ex-service man kindly step forward and put the ladies through the “manual of arms?” 

The ladies are put throgh the drill —and a deadly looking bunch they are. I will say that there is no valid reason why women could not be used to shoot down the taxpayers of some other country, insofar as ability is concerned. 

But— 
There is one difficulty in this arrangement and it occurs to me that it will be next to impossible to get a regiment of ladies to shoot at strapping young male-soldiers— (unless they were married to them previously). 

Again a company of men-soldiers very naturally would hesitate about firing into a regiment of blondes, brunettes or even suffragettes—so squeemish have our warriors grown.—Show me the lady-warrior who would have the heart to shoot a hole, the size of a hen’s egg, through a gentleman warrior’s ou-dee shirt—Show me a gentleman soldier who would send a bullet crashing through the fair complexion of a lady patriot—show me! 

But happily, I don’t believe women soldiers are to be used against men. I do not believe it would be practicable. Why the GENERAL might come on the battle field—approach the scene of carnage—and find one army sitting in the lap of the other—this takes all the kick out of war. 

No, the ladies will not be used against men.—It may be possible that ladies will shoot ladies, and ladies ONLY.—After the ladies, in each country, become too numerous, (owing to the habit men have of killing men only) the ladies can be arrayed against themselves, as a sex, and the killing can proceed along prescribed civilised lines. The men in turn can be used to reduce the available supply of husbands.—This can be done in the name of democracy or any other political legerdemain, at any time—any time. 

Unless men and women organize to do away with the cause of war—commercialism. 

War, primarily, is caused by commercialism. 

War can be caused by capitalism, also. 

I. W. W.ism isn’t a cure for war? 

I. W. W.ism is a cure for capitalism. 

Half the wars will end with Industrial Unionism triumphant. 

Let every man who “gets a kick” out of a real fighting organization land his support to this band of world biulders and they will honor your confidence. 
War isn’t Hell, yet! 

