﻿GOSSIP 
 
“Thomas W. Lamont of J. P. Morgan Company had his picture taken at Yellowstone Nat. park shortly after his encounter with a trio of bears while armed with only a handful of rocks.” 
We can believe this easily (with reservations). 

The bears may have been undersized and the rocks may have not been pebbles. 

Are yea quite sure, Mr. Thomas W. Lamont of J. P. Morgan Company, that they 
were Bears, and that they were not Gophers? Gophers, you know, although less 
rangy, are only leu ferocious. . . . 

Anyway, it was lucky for Fellow Worker Lamont of J. P. Morgan Company that the 
bears were vegetarians and the occasion only an encounter. 

The country where this encounter happened for miles around is “dry” and Lamont should not be questioned too closely—next we will be reading how J. D. Rockefeller routed 37 tigers, single-handed, in a bird’s cage. 

Mr. Henry Ford, who is named after a famous motor car, has stated that not a 
single union is formed primarily by the men themselves, or run for their benefit. Mr. Ford evidently hasn’t had any dealings with the I. W. W. Give us time, Henry; we are coming. 

“Or run for their benefit”— Henry says. 
Well, sir, the I. W. W. is not “run” and will not run—fast color, so as to say. The men themselves have a habit of “speaking their minds” freely, in no uncertain terms, and many a prospective engineer has had his license revoked because of ambitions to run things in the I. W. W. So uncertain is life. 

A Lewistown paper speaks of Henry thusly: “To his penetrating eye it is clear 
that all unions are engineered by capitalists.” Thus they hire Mr. Gompers to defy courts, Mr. Lewis to bring on the coal strike and Mr. Jewell to nationalise the railroad workers, etc. 

We of course have no information as to the truth of the above assertions — not being a detective agency— but this much we will say: If men persist in obeying, instead of being obeyed, the capitalists are more than willing to run their union on the rocks, and them ragged. 

Ho! hom! Skirts in Valley City are worn two inches longer, ho hom! Barns are being cleaned out oftener, ho hom			* * * 
Country on the verge of revolt. Suspender manufacturers insist that the pants come up higher. Pant makers request that the “elastics” come down. Pants is pants, and ‘spenders is ‘spenders, but never the twain shall meet. 

“Bankers to Missoula. Five Minneapolis Officers to Attend Montana Convention.” —(Headline.) 
Real decent of newspapers to give this warning. If natives fail to heed and take to the hills they have nobody to blame but themselves. 

Agriculturists of N. Dakota have hit upon scheme to run all rigs short-handed. This indicates a long day is not necessary. 

Eight hours begins to look better every day. The soup-line won’t start until along in January. 
—T-Bone Slim.