﻿Brotherhood and Business 
 
Footprints on the sand of time stand out doubly clear if made while carrying 100-lb. steel in a relaying gang. “We can make our lives sublime,” but I’m afraid it will break the heart and suspenders of ye noble railroad “chiefs.” 

It would have caused them grief long ago if the Brotherhood of Railroad Bankers had not entered the banking business—for instance, if they had decided to go into railroading. 

The entrance of railway locomotive engineers into the game of finance gibes well with the system’s other incongruities. Rolled oats come from meat packers (sometimes mixed right with the sausages) ; oleomarge comes from soap factories; shoes from a penitentiary; and so on. Why shouldn’t the “head-hogs” collect a little (on the side) from the people? It’s a roundabout way to go at it, but perfectly legal—and much safer than striking. 

Rumor has it that the Trackbolters’ Universal Brotherhood is going in for the manufacturing of Holeproof Barley Pancakes. 

The Spike Pickers and Material Men’s Conglomerated Amalgamation (S. P. & M. M. C. A.) is about to open up a university for the uplift of illiterate millionaires. 

The Ancient Order of Railway Tie-Adzers has practically given up the idea of running a steamship line across the Mojave Desert. Instead they are going to utilize all their resources in getting out Anti-Rattlers for Henry’s surging Juggernauts. 

Track Spike Sinkers and Maul Handlers’ International Alliance has amalgamated with the Head Spikers’ Fraternal Fraternity, the the Left-handed Track-Nailers’ National, and the Maul Wielders Right-Handed Benevolent Association. 
The new organization will be known as the Track Gaugers and Fasteners’ [ß indistinct] Orthodox Federation of American Imbeciles. As soon as the old officials are seated it is intended to start a sideline to go with unionism. The officials were very reticent about the nature of the undertaking but hinted strongly that developments will be along political lines—then if a member gets tired of economics he can turn to politics and visa versa. 

The very mysteriousness of the proceeding leads our author to believe there is a plot on foot to run him for president (or out of the country). 
The Loyal Legion of Spike Pullers, Federated Association of Nippers, and Knights of Claw-Bar held a unity convention and after amalgamating decided to affiliate with the Bartenders of North America and Kingsdale Minn. The idea is to start a pop factory. 

The Continental Combination of the Three Recognized Track Craft Organizations, the Tie Plate Peddlers, the Tie-Plate Sweepers and the Tie-Plug Distributors, have settled their controversies with the Interstate Nat. Spike Peddlers and Angle Bar Tossers’ Independent Association. It is generally thought these organizations will start another Wall Street in Milwaukee, America,, and start competing with the Locomotive Throttle-Pullers’ Brotherhood for the world’s money markets. One of the official heads told me in strict confidence that a “fair day’s pau for a fair day’s work” is pure crap. Exploitation is the thing, he added. 

The Industrial Workers of the World are still plugging along for shorter hours, thicker steaks and fatter pay. 

It shows its faith in unionism by not embarking on any chase for a pot of gold. 

It has only one thing to sell—Industrial Unionism. 

Riches is produced only on the job. 

The I. W. W.s believe they are entitled to as much in life as any workingman is and more than any social parasite. And it’s all got to come from the job. 

The quickest way to prosperity is to put the parasites to work—cut out nonessential production. 

Let the people f America be the working class. 

We must organize. —T-Bone Slim.
