﻿Economics Enlarged 
 
T-Bone Slim. 
I know not whether wage is high 
Or whether wage is low 
But this I know— whate’er I buy— 
I’ve got to have the dough. 

I have been offered a job — Of course, the wages are a little off color, so to speak,— devoid of green. “One Dollar and Eighty Cents a day” (deduction) “Eighty Seven and one half, cents per day.” 

In other words $10.80 per week, less $5.25 for board.— This leaves $5.55, which, I could spend in riotous living. 

My wife (if I had one) could take this $5.55 and live almost a half week— that’s why I’m begining to think that maybe I had better not marry right away— at least, not before I find another laborer, as reliable as myself, to support my better half of a half, the last half of the week. 

Better still, if three laborers get together, on such a proposition, they could support a wife and still have the third mans $5.55 to split up between the four— leaving $1.35 a piece to blow in” every week, on motion pictures, home brew, devine service and other pastimes, too numerous to mention— I guess between the four of us we could “think up” ways of spending the money, alright, allright. 

Clothes? Why worry about them. It’s summer. 

Shoes? You’re liable to ruin your feet— besides if you have shoes you’re liable to be hollering for rubber heels next. 

“But” you say, “we’ve got to dress our wife”— True, for you—now, you are talking sense. Let’s see.— Oh yes, we’ve got to hunt up another husband — Four of us ought to be able to support a “lone” women— besides, she can always get a job in a laundry if one of her husbands should get sick, or be laid off. 

What’s that!— “We will run short of husbands?”— Say. Cut out your objections.— Can’t you see, I’m trying to defend the Capitalist system?— Trying to show you how to beat the system and regain your rights to love, home and happiness. 

The income of John D — is $36,-000 per minute” (or was it, per hour?) I’m not very accurate in money matters— we great writers are writers first and figurers last— a few nickles one way or another doesn’t make any difference to us. And I mention these figures only to help the reader grasp the details of our glorious competetive system— Now, it happens the John does not need to strike for more pay—History doesn’t record where John ever went out on strike, altho, it does record where John put up a fight against paying a fine. 
And he won out, too, saving $29,000,000. 

I am way off my story. (I may be a little off otherwise, but, still there’s nothing offish about me) Oh yes, we had come to the point where we were about to run short of husbands. Well, after all available husbands are united in holy wedlock, there will be thousands of women without husbands— This world indicate that my solution will not wotk! 

‘Tis not so, and it will work.— There is nothing that is impossible under a capitalist system— What is there to, hinder John D — marrying the rest of these women? 

John has pretty nearly all the money in this country— and is well able and no doubt willing, to support a few million wives— which the working class is unable to do on $1.80 per day. 

— Now, in regard to to that job, I did not take it — not that I object to work— not that I consider the pay too small. No. 

But, because my official panic will not be over until the 15th day of April, until then I shall remain your— T-Bone Slim.