﻿HEADIN’ IN 
(By T-BONE SLIM)

When the workers begin to starve in droves business will pick up in the undertakers’ establishments. 
 
A “boom” will be started. Funeral directors will wax wealthy and will be in position to hand a feller a piece of change—and thus again will the working class be saved to answer the country’s call. 

About half of the workers will be allowed to starve to death. (The bigger half will be saved to produce more wealth.) 

If half of the working men are starved, the masters perhaps will be inclined to give the remaining half some part of what they have produced. 

If the master can starve half of them now and get away with it, I can’t see any reason why he could not starve the rest also and keep the whole “smear” for his own private, charitable use. 

This can be done under capitalism. “Capital and labor is one.” 

Labor has a bad habit of getting hungry. And just when the warehouses are full too. 

Did I say that capitalism and labor are one? I guess I did. Well, I mean, “Capital and labor were one, but capital became separated from labor through a shrewd scheme of the master, called the wage system. 

That is why the slave is broke every day but payday. 

Mail robbers have been very active lately. The postmaster has shown his usual good judgement in picking the soldiers of the sea to guard the mails. Mail trains “taking water on the fly” will not surprise the marines. They used to ride the same trains before they had this job. 

There is to be no reprimand for the marine who, while guarding the mails, killed a hobo. “He will be backed up to the limit,” said Col. E. H. Shaughnessy, second assistant postmaster general. 

It is a good thing that the Col., however, is not guarding our mails. If he were, our hoboes would soon be crippled and they would not be able to tamp up ties or lay steel or take up the low joints. Why, some of the bullets may wound them seriously. 

Hoboes are not riding mail trains. But no doubt that many of them will avail themselves of the opportunity to commit suicide. They have no jobs, they have nothing to eat, and no money. 

The shooting of hoboes will not discourage train robbers. It will only serve as a means to wipe out the claim that these men are holding against society. 

If you want to put an end to robbery, hire the robbers to guard the mails. Give them light work to do; pay them well. In other words, make it unnecessary for them to rob. 

Then it will not be necessary to shoot hoboes to scare robbers. I must be getting very sentimental in my old age. I do not like to see a hobo disappointed. I do not like for him to get a bullet when he is looking for something to eat.